Hearing that someone you know or love has been diagnosed with cancer is heartbreaking. You hope that they’ll get better and their sickness won’t take the best of them. But what about the people who have lost someone to this disease? How often does this actually happen to someone we may know, or see every day? For one of our North Platte High School students this is something close to home.
Junior Olivia Perez lost her mother to cervical cancer a little over a year ago. Perez explained that her mother was diagnosed the summer before her freshman year. “In the beginning, we were shocked. We were nervous around her because we thought she was fragile,” said Perez. Junior Elias Alves said he lost his mom three years ago to breast cancer. Her cancer then became metastatic and spread to her neck and brain. She was diagnosed in March of 2011. Alves explained when his mom was first diagnosed he wasn’t sure what was going on. “I think one of the saddest things for me was when she lost her hair. She used to have really long, nice hair.” said Alves
Perez’s mother was given an opportunity with chemotherapy. For her, this seemed to be the answer to her sickness, at first. “After chemo she was healthy, eventually it went away.” Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. “Her cancer came back the summer before my sophomore year, a lot worse than the first time,” said Perez. Perez’s mother died just weeks after she was diagnosed the second time. “I was always on edge when a pass would come to class or the phone would ring, because of that my grades started slipping,” said Perez.
Alves’s mother was also given the opportunity with therapy, she went through radiation. Within the first year she was much better, she had beat breast cancer. But two months after it had came back in a metastatic form. Metastatic is when, the spread of a disease-producing agency (as cancer cells) from the initial or primary site of disease to another part of the body. She then went into surgery, for the first month and a half after her surgery she was in a wheelchair. “She was ‘there,’ after a month she couldn’t walk or talk.” said Alves
After a loss it’s always hard to ‘reposition’ your lifestyle. For Perez and her siblings this included going to therapy to talk to someone, and also moving in with an aunt and uncle who had moved here from Texas to help with the family. “It was different in the beginning moving in with my aunt and uncle, since they didn’t live close I didn’t know them very well,” said Perez “My siblings and I moved in with them after the passing because it had been put in my moms will that they would be our legal guardians.”
Perez’s mother was put on hospice at their home. Perez explained that every morning before school they would go see their mother, kiss her on the forehead and tell her they loved her. “We always would say ‘I love you’ before we left anywhere, we weren’t sure if that was going to be the last time.” said Perez. Sometimes everyday family and friends would come and visit her, besides the nurses who checked on her. “We knew she was passing soon. She lived a few weeks past her expected date, but she looked weak.” said Perez.
Alves’s mother was then put on bed rest. Alvarez explained that his mother began to act out her memories in her dreams. “I was sleeping in her room and I knew this memory, it was a memory from Christmas,” said Alves “She grabbed her blanket and wrapped it up and handed it to me like a present.” Perez remembered a time with her mother and siblings. “I remember that we were all trying to catch fireflies and I caught one and I was showing my mom and she was so happy and we were all laughing.” said Perez.
Both Alves and Perez have a necklace that they got from their mothers when they passed. Both wear them almost everyday because it means something to them. For Perez she explained that her mother had one half of the necklace and she had the other. As for Alves, his was the last present he received before his mother passed.
When someone loses a loved one, they often still keep them in their hearts. For Perez and her family, this included celebrating every special day with their mother, by buying her flowers and visiting her grave. “I think of her everyday, there’s honestly not a day that goes by that I don’t think of her. It feels like she’s with me and I can tell she’s a proud momma,” said Perez.
Alves had gone on a camping trip with his dad and brother the day his mom passed. He received a call from his grandpa saying they needed to come home. It wasn’t until he had got home that he realized his mom had passed. “When I was there I was an emotional wreck, I regret not being able to say goodbye,” said Alves
We all deal with the loss of a loved one in our own way. We learn to cope on our own time. Being surrounded by family and friends does help but Perez did have one thing she want’s us all to remember. “Be strong for your loved one. Be there for them, tell them you love them, forgive them of any mistake they’ve made in the past.” said Perez. With that being said, remember to love the ones most dear to you like it’s yours or their last day. Give your parents an extra hug. Remind your sibling how much you care about them. Tell your grandparent how happy their silly stories make you. Explain how grateful you are to have your best friend. But most of all, remember that at any given moment this same thing could happen to you. Don’t take anything for granted.